Welcome to Writing to Heal.

My name is Carly. I am a thirty something newlywed navigating the world of trauma and healing. Why am I starting this blog? Because my therapist told me I should a good while ago, and I am finally listening. It’s taken me forever to feel brave enough to actually do it, even longer to start writing this first post.

I grew up as a gay child to Christian parents. My brother was, and is, the golden child. My parents have soaked in generational trauma, suicide attempts, abuse, emotional unavailability, and enmeshment for lifetimes past and present. This is my experience of being born into that dysfunction and trying to make it through to the other side.

Through therapy and my incredibly intelligent wife, I have started to see the strings that were being pulled and all the ways I was unknowingly being manipulated. More recently I am uncovering the layers of shame that have infiltrated every facet of my life.

It’s hard to relate to people who have gone through this journey and already come out the other side. I can’t help but feel so behind compared to them. Although I have been in therapy for a year, it still feels like the very beginning. I start this blog 100lbs overweight, angry, semi depressed and at risk of losing everyone I hold dear.

But also I am hopeful. I have tried and failed many times before. Something inside me just won’t fully quit though. I have a family to take care of after all.

I am rebuilding and reprogramming from scratch. The successes and failures I plan on documenting through this blog.

You’re welcome to join me.

Carly